I put this up already and deleted it because of the personal nature, then I decided feck it - we need these stories out there.
This is going to be a very personal post but it's something that has been playing on my mind since hearing of the death of Savita Halappanavar and hearing the stories from other women filter through the media.
When I was fourteen I had extremely horrendous periods. My mother eventually got fed up of the doctor saying it was a viral infection (that just happened to coincide with my periods every single month) so she demanded a second opinion. I was referred to a Dublin hospital whose answer was to put me on the pill.
Fast forward more than a decade and I changed doctors to a more female friendly clinic. Having explained my past history the doctor sends me for further tests in light of the fact that I was due to be married the following year.
I'm not going to go into the ins and outs of what was diagnosed but it boiled down to this : if I did become pregnant, I have an extremely high risk of having miscarriages and if I don't miscarry I have a high risk of having a baby with a disability. The first is heartbreaking, the second wouldn't phase me.
Talking over with himself the other night I came the conclusion that if we had different laws here and I did accidentally become pregnant (and believe me we have taken strong measures to ensure it doesn't happen but y'know nothing is ever 100%), I'd probably have a wait and see what happened attitude, maybe I wouldn't miscarry, maybe we'd become wonderful parents.
Since I am living in a country where there is a huge grey area regarding women's reproduction, I'm afraid I'll have to be on the plane to England. Since I do have a high risk of miscarriage I won't be waiting for a hospital to dither over whether or not my life is in danger while they wait to do something. I won't risk leaving my husband without his wife, my parents without their daughter and my sister without me. Ireland the bastion of life makes me more likely to have an abortion.
Thanks for reading - I'm not sure how long I will leave this post up for